i told my tale ;
once again, i came to know that, that person cried again..
knowing that that person cried,
it make me feel so useless..
i can't help much,
but only listening and persuading that person i guess...
why don't you just allow me to go to your heart??
i've longed to do that..
maybe time and waiting is the answer to it afterall..
23/04/07
had english paper 2, was quite ok.. and in the end still got scolded by miss ilan for whatever shit reason.. ahh well who cares, we're kinda used to her scoldings.. that's lame i guess... i think i tried my best for the whole paper.. so if the results come out to be disappointing.. i'll still be satisfy, and if i really don't do well then i am dumb.
after that was NSW science. its like a total waste of my time. came to questions i don't know? i just any how shade. woah sure i'll score well at NSW -.-"
tuesday and today nothing really happened. i went home straight after school and study for lit and geo. first time?? yeah i guess so. really have to buck up man.. as in friends are all studying for test and exams except for me i guess. oh ya! there's science test today. i think i will flunk that paper, i don't know a thing about phyics part! omg.. i am so damn dead, just hope i pass my science test not with flying colours.
i told my tale ;
just one more week had passed...
time really really flies...
certain things wait for no man,but yet here am i still waiting for you..
do you know??
16/04/07
well had a fever, was at Samuel's house with Gary and Melanie too.. was down with a flu at first. but don't know what happened,just couldn't sleep that whole night. waking up with a headache and then perhaps I've got my fever there and then.. don't have the mood to sort of fool around in school like i used to. everything seemed to change,i must too...
17,18/04/07
my fever is not going away. really don't have that mood to play study. in class,while teachers are lecturing,i guess i spend half of the time sleeping or just day-dreaming. couple of teachers asked what happened to me,well i just told them I'm sick and nothing else,didn't want to add on. miss ilan had been having mood swings or she's just being bias?? can't she just understand more of us? everyday scold us,say we're noisy had she ever thought of other classes? because at times they're like so much noisier than our class.. it's just so not fair, comparing our class with the others. just like comparing while to black, they will never be the same rights?
19/04/07
well still got fever and had a headache too.. gosh why did my sickness came only the time when its going to be exams? i suppose to be studying and paying attention in class. but obviously i got no mood to do that. had EL and CL paper 1. find both paper ok,but find my essays..the way i wrote it sucks.guys wanted to go out and celebrate whatsoever.didn't really want to tag along..i mean like guys,now is exams can't you people just don't play for awhile and just study??
20/04/07
my stupid fever just don't want to go away and this time down with such a big headache,feel asleep during geography lessons i guess...took my paper, i failed again. f**k geography man, all 3 test fail. from A1-F9 its just so disappointing man..its not that i didn't study whatsoever, i did study... man what's wrong with me!! just couldn't take it anymore man...is the teacher's fault or what?? or maybe i shouldn't blame on the others like everyone will say..how lame can that be..
21/04/07
spend my whole morning on the computer, didn't get to play much. don't know what game to play.. i surf the net... for science and literature.. woah my first time but its kinda worth it. found some stuff that is useful to science but just couldn't understand it.. i think i am so going to fail my coming science test. literature,those notes is kinda useful, took them down on so that i can memorise. i think I'll do more of this kind of independent learning,maybe i should have done this so so much earlier eh?? afternoon, sister's boyfriend came to fetch my mum,sis and i go KK hospital to make my specs. cool finally got new specs. ok its half-frame and black colour.. will be getting it next Saturday.just can't wait...
the same as cant waiting for you...
then i spend my whole afternoon watching television.don't want myself to stop and think about unhappy stuff.just want to hide from it man.usually i will call up my friends and chat with them but obviously don't have the mood.nowsaday I've got no mood for everything or anything.things that i cared about doesn't care about me..or is it i don't know??
i told my tale ;
Why must so many things happen?? Why is it that everything seem to be changing?? Or is it that everything changed and its no longer the same as before?? i just wished that things are back to normal... but will my wish come true??
there's so much to talk bout...
Friends..they're changing... some bad some good...i just dont know what to do..
there's something between us,that make us so..seperated?? we used to be so close,tell each other things.. but look what's happening now!! it changed
People around me,my friends... they all seemed so troubled,sad,confused...
all i can.. is either to listen,comfort,consol them...
but what about myself..???
my friends.. they cried when they're feeling sad,confused what so ever
but why can't i do the same!?!
just why can't i break down and cry in front of them? like what they did..
i only can cry inside my heart...hiding the real feelings of mine...
My feelings are kept deep inside myself, at times i dont even know what am i doing,feeling.
i dont know myself...
i dont understand myself...
i've got to hide it away...
you see, to others i'm so care-free
am i really so??
yeah maybe to you guys i might be..
but let me tell you, i'm hiding my feelings till you guys think that i am care-free...
-sigh-
i told my tale ;
Woooohoooo... finally blog again... obviously decided all my previous post.. but well...
haiz.. shall make it short i guess...
LOTS of things happened... dont even know where to start... thus shall not start..
ok so far.. CO trainings are tough so have to work hard... as for my results.. of course must work hard also lar... ok maybe the part on Co training work hard.. not for me.. haha
well.. co is fun ONLY when we can slack.. hahaha!!! ok bye for now...
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